Tuesday, December 30, 2014

In Memory Of My mother Marilyn


This year began well with my daughter in her last year of high school & going to Prom and her finding her  prince charming Justin. Then all the Graduation celebrations ,its something we have looked forward to for 12 years.

When fall arrived my mother became ill with pneumonia which we thought she would over come and be back home but our hopes of that happening was crushed when the doctors told us my moms heart was giving out and she would not be able to pull out of it.                  
Dad took me in the hall it was like what you always see in the movies and dad said the doctors says theres nothing more they can do for momma and she will be leaving us soon and we need to prepare the family those words are the worst thing Ive ever heard. They asked my mom if she wanted to continue her care in the hospital our go home to be with her family and friends  and she chose to spend her last days at homes surrounded by her loved ones , children and grandchildren.

Oct. 3rd was Mom and Dads 45th Anniversary so we did what any family would do and we had a party right their in the ICU Unit. With my heart being torn apart  I make it to walmart and pick out a beautiful cake to celebrate their 45 wonderful years they had together. Ive never felt so lost but I bought mom a pink and white scarf something to make her feel pretty. I fixed her makeup and hair then all her friends and family started arriving. All of this had to be planned so fast to make it as special as we could for mom. Throughout those last few days I sat their and watched as my dad comforted my mom and smiling telling her everthings gonna be alright. Then there was the very emotional last wishes mom spoke about and Im listening to her but still something inside wasn't allowing me to fully grasp the fact that my mom was dying.

Mom came home on Oct 4th after spending a week in ICU. It was so good to have her home but we all knew the clock was ticking and it would only be a matter of time. over the next 6 days I don't think I hardly slept as well as my dad. Our ears was totally listening and waiting second by second. There was so many people that came to visit my mom and tell her how much they loved her. Ive never seen so many people at moms house.  


 But on sunday Oct 5th The living room was filled with friends as her best friend started to sing those heavenly songs. Mom was getting weaker as the days rolled on. My cousins came to help me with mom and explain to me the different stages mom would be going through. I didn't fully understand until Oct 8th and they said it can be at anytime. dad laid down on a sofa while I moved the recliner next to moms bed so I could lay beside her and cherish every last second of life she had left in her. .

When the sounds got worse I woke dad and said its time and we need to call the family back.After her sisters and best friend arrived they had a few moments to say there last goodbyes then Mom peacefully left us and went to heaven as daddy heald her hand and let her go be with Jesus. Mom was a Christian for 47 years and throughout her life she was very loving and giving to anyone in need. Mother looked so peaceful at the funeral and there was so many people there  that some had to stand in the back. At the graveside service the preacher was talking very fast as though something was about to happen and the strangest thing accrued.

The winds picked up and started blowing very strong as we all stood on a hill side we could see the strong storm approaching. The winds seem to be 50 mph then the rain came. I was running around trying to get some flowers to take home and I ran over to moms casket and I laid my head on it and said "Ill miss you so much momma then I kissed her casket while the rain is pouring down there was 2 men standing at each pole so  the canopy didn't fly away.  I jumped in the car with dad and I looked back as though I was in a movie or this was just a dream. I never knew how bad it would hurt to lose my precious mom and if given a chance to do things different I would have been the best daughter I could be.

After moms death there was many things to come ,Gracies birthday was 2 weeks away which we all just tried so hard to forget  about our loss and celebrate her birth. Then followed Thanksgiving whichwe all gathered at dads like we have always done .The next few weeks I found myself trying so hard to not break down so I would go hang out out at thrift stores for hours just looking through junk so my mind wouldnt drift back to memories of mom. Christmas seemed to move so fast we all dreeded to see it come but like always I bought for all the kids and this year I was even shopping for my sisters 2 girls. On Christmas day me and my daughters drove over to the grave and placed a Christmas tree on her grave  .Thats one thing I thought I wouldnt ever have to face but as I see its  something everyone must face.

But   before my mom left  this world after many years of praying Id get right with God . I took my moms hand as she laid in that hospital bed  and I said ; Mom will you help me ask Jesus into my heart Because I cant make it without him. I"ll never forget that special moment I had just me and her. I miss you mom

                                  Love always ,your daughter Terri